I think today is gonna be a good day. Maybe even my day to attempt to beat anxiety, even if only for a moment. I only laid in bed for an hour battling my demons before getting out of bed. AND I DID IT WITHOUT CRYING! I have successfully made coffee. Well, kinda. I brewed hot water first because, yet again, I forgot to put the coffee grounds in the filter before turning on my pot.
As I sit here on the couch sipping this magical hot beverage that helps me not be such a cunt, I started thinking…… What is the point of me writing these words? Why should I even try to document my feelings? I guess in a way it makes me feel less alone. I don’t know if people will actually read what I have to say. I know if someone does they probably won’t care. But maybe someone out there needs to see this. They need my words just as much as I do so they know they aren’t alone.
Hell I dunno. It’s kinda like cats, so many people have cats, and we know they do. But we don’t realize that their cats do the same douchebag stuff as our cats. Like my destroyed Christmas Tree (that hasn’t even been up for 24 hours). I’m not saying Anxiety is like having cats. Cats love us, Anxiety does not. That’s just my brains really shitty way on making an example that makes no sense. Ugh, why do I even try? What is the point of explaining myself and my thoughts. I’m sure I sound like a complete idiot.
STOP IT TIFFANY! TODAY IS GONNA BE A GOOD DAY, REMEMBER ?!
I guess I will leave you with this … We are not alone in this fight. Our demons cannot always win. There are other people out there who deal with the same things daily. Maybe, just maybe, they will win their battle today too. We will never know.
But for now, I will just drink my morning coffee.